# Why I hate myself.



## plumber666 (Sep 19, 2010)

Not really, but didn't know how to title this thread. I bet we all have things we do at work that we do that cause ourselves a lot of aggrivation. I've been doing this plumbing stuff since the 80's and have always worked hard, and try to treat every piping job like a sculpture. But there's a couple of things that I do that really piss me off.
Firstly, I'll be up a ladder, on a scizzor lift, down a manhole, or on a roof, and I'll be scrounging around looking for my tape measure. Where is it? On the tri-stand or beside the chop saw. It happens a couple of times a week or a couple times a day, and it always pisses me off. 
Another one: I'm really good at layout, measuring and whatnot. I still love blowing an apprentices mind by doing two or three quick measurements and handing him a peice of paper with 5 pipes to cut. I rarely screw up a measurement. Could be copper, screwed, cast, welded, doesn't matter. Very rarely do I forget a fitting allowance, blow the 1.414, whatever.
But when I do screw one up, what is the problem 98% of the time? Somewhere in my brain between the measuring and the threader, or chop saw or the copper cutter I drop 10 inches somewhere. I'll need a 49 7/8" peice and I'll cut a 39 7/8" piece. Or a 24" piece and cut a 14"er. It's always 10 inches. Even apprentices I worked with years ago remember that, and it's not like I do it all the time. But on the rare chance I blow a measurement it's always by 10".
Today I did both of these things. And it really pissed me off.


----------



## sNApple (Jan 19, 2010)

at least your working


----------



## Phat Cat (Apr 1, 2009)

Sounds like you need two tape measures . . . one stays on you at all times and the other where you do your cutting. Problem solved. :yes:

As for the 10", at least you are consistent. :laughing:


----------



## Proud Plumber (Sep 15, 2008)

I like it when a person sets excellence as the mark of achievement.... No need for us to beat you up over being human. You do a good enough job of it yourself. Live with your heart and leave your head out of it. Two kinds of people in this world. Those that admit it, and those that lie about it. Either way we all do it.... we screw up....:thumbup:


----------



## grandpa (Jul 13, 2008)

Have you noticed any black helicopters flying around, or a lot of black SUVs with heavily tinted windows? Lining your cap wit aluminum foil may help.


----------



## para1 (Jun 17, 2008)

You lost me at...."I still like blowing an apprentice":whistling2:


----------



## plumber666 (Sep 19, 2010)

Come on, anybody else have goofy quirks like that?


----------



## Protech (Sep 22, 2008)

No, can't say I've ever had the need to blow an apprentice :laughing:



plumber666 said:


> Come on, anybody else have goofy quirks like that?


----------



## Airgap (Dec 18, 2008)

10" is better than 10 feet....:blink:


----------



## PLUMB TIME (Feb 2, 2009)

I think this thread is going south in a hurry.:whistling2:


----------



## ManzellaPlumbng (Aug 25, 2010)

Yeah, the tape measure thing ALWAYS happens to me! one time I was changing a blade out of the sawzall, and couldnt get the chuck to turn to get the blade out. So what do I do while trying to turn it?...I pull the trigger and smash my hand.
OH OH HERES A GOOD ONE! Have you ever taken a p-trap off and and dump the water in the sink???!!! WHAT AM I DOING!!!

It always makes me laugh my butt off too when someone is grunting while trying to turn a "1/2 gas nipple too! I dunno why...


----------



## nhmaster3015 (Aug 5, 2008)

I've been at it so long that I don't bother with a tape measure, I can eyeball it to within a 16th every time :whistling2:


----------



## Master Mark (Aug 14, 2009)

*me too.....*



nhmaster3015 said:


> I've been at it so long that I don't bother with a tape measure, I can eyeball it to within a 16th every time :whistling2:


 
Me too..... tape measures are for sissies.....


if you blow your apprentice, isnt that some sort of sexual harrassment???..


----------



## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

nhmaster3015 said:


> I've been at it so long that I don't bother with a tape measure, I can eyeball it to within a 16th every time :whistling2:


Need Glasses?

I just got a new pair and I'm good to 1/64" :laughing:


----------



## futz (Sep 17, 2009)

plumber666 said:


> Come on, anybody else have goofy quirks like that?


I don't think losing your tape measure or cutting the wrong measurement is really a quirk. I probably misplace my tape twenty times a day. That's why I have lots of them. Turn around and there's another one. :laughing: No problem. Cutting the wrong length happens occasionally - no biggy. I tend to measure fittings end to end and forget to add socket allowance. Ah well, there's more pipe where that came from.


----------



## futz (Sep 17, 2009)

ManzellaPlumbng said:


> Have you ever taken a p-trap off and and dump the water in the sink???!!! WHAT AM I DOING!!!


Heh, I've done that one a few times. Makes ya feel like an idiot for a sec - then up and running for rags! :laughing:


----------



## Bill (Jun 17, 2008)

nhmaster3015 said:


> I've been at it so long that I don't bother with a tape measure, I can eyeball it to within a 16th every time :whistling2:


Damn! Can I have your eyes after you are gone:laughing:

I am lucky to see the P-Trap:laughing:


----------



## plumber666 (Sep 19, 2010)

The p-trap thing? Done it a few times. And I said blow a measurement, not blow an apprentice, however about 12 years ago I worked with a drop dead gorgeous red-headed girl apprentice, and those stories will never appear on this site!! Some memories never die....


----------



## LEAD INGOT (Jul 15, 2009)

para1 said:


> You lost me at...."I still like blowing an apprentice":whistling2:


Thought I was the only one that caught that. Whew!


----------



## pauliplumber (Feb 9, 2009)

I hate it when I hit my head in the same spot, on the same thing, like 3 times in ten minutes.


----------



## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

ManzellaPlumbng said:


> OH OH HERES A GOOD ONE! Have you ever taken a p-trap off and and dump the water in the sink???!!! WHAT AM I DOING!!!
> 
> ...


Whew. I thought I was the only one that did that.


----------



## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

You ever shut the water off to someone's house, and then for some reason you open a faucet to get water and when nothing comes out, you stand there a little perplexed? It then takes a few seconds to realize why no water is coming out of the faucet. "Oh, that's right, I have the water turned off. Duh.":bangin:


----------



## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

no. we're not that dumb. :jester:




Tommy plumber said:


> You ever shut the water off to someone's house, and then for some reason you open a faucet to get water and when nothing comes out, you stand there a little perplexed? It then takes a few seconds to realize why no water is coming out of the faucet. "Oh, that's right, I have the water turned off. Duh.":bangin:


----------



## Don The Plumber (Feb 14, 2010)

Set all these trench drains, in front of cooler doors, for a grocery store. I had been reading this blueprint for weeks now, & it had the center line of each door 6'-0" from the end walls. For some unknown reason I set all these drains at 60", instead of 6'-0", which is 1ft off. Good thing they were putting ceramic tile over the concrete floor, but I still had to move every one, before the ceramic got installed. I call that HUTA, which stands for: 
Head
Up
Thy 
A$$ :yes:


----------



## JK949 (Mar 18, 2009)

pauliplumber said:


> I hate it when I hit my head in the same spot, on the same thing, like 3 times in ten minutes.


That's why I hate box vans with less than stand up height.


----------



## plumbpro (Mar 10, 2010)

I hit my head on pipes and ladders hanging off of the utility bed at least once a day. I also hit my head on the corner of open upper cabinets on trim out atleast once per day, per house.


----------



## plumbpro (Mar 10, 2010)

Oh, and I will sometimes dump a trap I just pulled off into the sink it came off of.:laughing:


----------



## Kevan (Jul 5, 2010)

I am fascinated by my ability to put something away just before I need it again.


----------



## 1703 (Jul 21, 2009)

I was taught to always grab all my hand tools when going into the job. Yet every once in a while, I'll just grab one thing like a pair of channellocks cuz I think the call will be quick and easy.

Then I need a screwdriver- back to the truck.

Can't see- back to the truck for a light.

Next thing I know, I've made 10 trips to the truck and half my tools are scattered across the floor. Then I end up bringing the tool bag in anyway just so got something to carry them back to the truck.


----------



## PLUMB TIME (Feb 2, 2009)

Driving away with the back door(s) open.

Leaving something on the bumper and driving away. A 1/2 can of Budweiser made it eight miles from a buddies house to my garage door,and still drinkable.:thumbup:


----------



## Herk (Jun 12, 2008)

Oh, how I know this feeling!

I can't find a tape measure. So I go buy a new one. Then I'm poking around in the trailer for something else and one of them shows up behind a box of parts. Then another one shows up. Pretty soon I've got four of them again.

A few months back I replaced a number of things that I couldn't find and they eventually all turned up. And no, I hadn't left them on a job, but they were usually just stuck behind something. I try to stay organized, I really do.

And those trips to the truck are normal. There is _always_ something else. Either the batteries have gone dead in the light or you can't turn a valve handle or there's sharp rocks under the visqueen and you need the knee pads or the crawler light doesn't work. Or maybe the stop you got out of the box turns out to be the wrong type and you have to go back to the truck and trade it for the right one.

In a collection of stories by Pierre Boulle, who wrote Planet of the Apes, called "Because it is Absurd" there is a story titled "The Plumber." It's the hilarious story of a plumber in what appears to be a Germanic country who is called to "replace the joints." He's on foot and has to go to get more joints. He patiently explains that it's steam going through the pipes and not hot water and so he needs special joints. And since he didn't expect that, he doesn't have them with him. 

As it turns out, the Special Service people who hired him need the steam to interrogate some poor victim, unbeknown to the plumber. The plumber's final words:

"Not bad people," he told his wife as she served his breakfast. "The little lady especially. Only they've got ideas like new-rich people. Hot water like everyone else, that's not good enough for them! As for the Captain, he was almost ready to tell me how to do my work! That takes the cake! 'Cause when it comes to pipes, joints, and bathtubs, believe me, he don't know beans!"


----------



## futz (Sep 17, 2009)

PLUMB TIME said:


> Driving away with the back door(s) open.
> 
> Leaving something on the bumper and driving away. A 1/2 can of Budweiser made it eight miles from a buddies house to my garage door,and still drinkable.:thumbup:


Many years ago my apprentice and I lost a >$400 rented test ball when one of us forgot the back door of the van open and drove to the next job. Neither of us would admit to doing it (he did it! :laughing: ). The company paid the rental shop for it - that sucked - boss was plenty pissed.


----------



## pdxplumber (Nov 21, 2009)

I go through utility knives like paper towels. I buy a couple every month and loose them just as fast. I don't loose anything else. One day I got home and found two buried in my back pocket. For some reason this always pisses me off.
I did not make any obvious jokes about ten inches or blowing an apprentice.... I'm proud of myself.
I used to work with a girl apprentice.. I'm stopping right now.
:whistling2:


----------

