# What's the most embarrassing you've said to a h.o?



## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

Like it says, tell your most embarrassing thing you said.


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

What a f mess. These people were SLOBS. Said it out loud got a diry look to.


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## ROCKSTARPLUMBER (Dec 14, 2008)

They call this machine, "bigdaddydonasty"


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## Airgap (Dec 18, 2008)

I'm sorry, I had chili for lunch... :blush:


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

UnclogNH said:


> What a f mess. These people were SLOBS. Said it out loud got a diry look to.


 Went to one ladys house and it had pig trails through the house....she had 3' high stacks of news paper all through the house...the pier foundation was sagging from it...the house was a complete wreck. She was reaching over a stack of newspaper to use her gas stove She said "Come on in sorry for the mess my made had a heart attack and hasn'nt been able to come clean in a while" I said before i even thought about it..." Well i can see why she had a heart attack right now...and if she comes back shes gonna have another one":laughing: It was a mess. Another guy had dead lizzards pinned to the wall with stick pins...they were all dried out......guy was nuts fo sho!!!!


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## Airgap (Dec 18, 2008)

ooops, forgot to shut off the main!:blush:


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

I had a call from a lady who was senile and she kept talking about all the children her house playing must have clogged the toilet up. I get there and she lets me in and takes me to the toilet and its for sure clogged....she proceeds to talk about all these kids playing in her house and has wrecked it.......She then walks up behind while I'm running the auger down the toilet and taps me on the sholder and says..." Look at all those kids over there...they have got all my clothes on playing dress up"" She was pointing into an empty closet. It freaked me out bigtime and I went to a neighbors house and they came over to see about her........I ended up being paid by her daughter and the lady was taken to a old folks home so she could be taken care of. It was a trip


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

I was on a roof once and had to call the H.O from my cell phone to come put my ladder back up against the house so I could get down.


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

TheMaster said:


> I was on a roof once and had to call the H.O from my cell phone to come put my ladder back up against the house so I could get down.


lol


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## Ron (Jun 12, 2008)

I sure would like to know who plumbed this under your sink, they did a piss poor job, HO said that was me.


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## user823 (Feb 3, 2009)

I was working in a hot attic many moons back and bumped my head on a nail. I thought it was sweat pouring down my face it was actually some sweat but mostly blood. My face was covered in blood. I freaked out mrs. homeowner pretty good when she saw me. I didn't need to say anything after looking in the mirror except, hmmm. lol But sort of embarrassing.


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

Ron The Plumber said:


> I sure would like to know who plumbed this under your sink, they did a piss poor job, HO said that was me.


lol


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## GREENPLUM (Jul 27, 2008)

Went to a Water Heater Swap Out job, home owner took me down to the basement, I looked at the old heater and said "this is the worst install ive seen yet, who put this in?" he replied "i did" 
I learned a valuable lesson that day


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

TheMaster said:


> Another guy had dead lizzards pinned to the wall with stick pins...they were all dried out......guy was nuts fo sho!!!!


Crazy people are the best :laughing:

I just did one guy says he was ex Navy. No disrespect to anyone who served but this guy was off his rocker. He was like I sir right away yelling random stuff out loud the whole time I was there.
Gave him the bill and he made a loud whooooo sound pulled a wad of cash out of a sock and paid me cash. Walked me to my van open the door and closed it and saluted as I left. :blink:


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## ROCKSTARPLUMBER (Dec 14, 2008)

I once asked an older looking gentleman about his GRANDdaughter, it was HIS daughter. oops.


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

Did work at a Chinese restaurant. Gave guy a quote after a long pause he pretended to call his boss he dialed like for numbers and started pretending he was talking to someone. Said to expensive lower price. I said no He said OK you do. 
I have been doing work for this restaurant for years and I know he's the only owner he still does it every time I do a job there.


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

Mine dates back to that big house I did. The builder and this guy which i thought was the trrim carpenter comes up to me and the builder says "Jason the dishwashers are here. There are 5 of them. One is a drawer type that goes in the master." They had a bar sink, mini fridge, under counter ice machine and the drawer type d/w in their master bedroom. So I said " why is there a d/w in the bedroom". And the guy that I thought was the trim man said " I don't know, that's the first time I've seen it". So I said " maybe it's so she can wash her toys off when she's done". The builder jumps in and says Bill this is your plumber Jason. jason I'd like you to meet Bill Buamgart the home owner. The builder gave me a look and they walked away. I talked to the builder after the ho left and we laughed about it and I guess the ho didn't catch what I said.


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

I had a helper move from a small hillbilly town and had never even left his driveway much less the little town he was from. Anyway he had never seen a transvestite before and we went on a service call and I had been there before.I warned the helper and he laughed at me and said I was a B.S'er. I knew the grandson was a tranvestite and had big breats and wore mens clothes when shim was at home.......Shim was laying on the couch with shims face toward the cushion but with shims butt and other womens parts clothed but showing.....He was licking his lips and smiling......looking like a perv. I warned him thats not what you think it is....he didn't listen. About 10 minutes of that went on and then shim got up off the couch and came to the doorway of the bathroom. The country helper I had turned white as a sheet and I had to sit him down on the edge of the bathtub and let him catch his breath. It was outstanding!!!!!!...Shim said "If I can do that to ya by just saying hello just think what it would be like if i get ahold of you"


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

TheMaster said:


> I had a helper move from a small hillbilly town and had never even left his driveway much less the little town he was from. Anyway he had never seen a transvestite before and we went on a service call and I had been there before.I warned the helper and he laughed at me and said I was a B.S'er. I knew the grandson was a tranvestite and had big breats and wore mens clothes when shim was at home.......Shim was laying on the couch with shims face toward the cushion but with shims butt and other womens parts clothed but showing.....He was licking his lips and smiling......looking like a perv. I warned him thats not what you think it is....he didn't listen. About 10 minutes of that went on and then shim got up off the couch and came to the doorway of the bathroom. The country helper I had turned white as a sheet and I had to sit him down on the edge of the bathtub and let him catch his breath. It was outstanding!!!!!!...Shim said "If I can do that to ya by just saying hello just think what it would be like if i get ahold of you"


He don't git to see much of dat where he's from :laughing:


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

Guy here had septic tank troubles and the pumper truck came out and dug the tank up.pulled the lids and found hundreds of condoms. The H.O. guy looked at the pumper truck man and said "I dont use condoms" Only he and his wife lived there. I guess the wife has explaining to do huh!!!:laughing:


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

TheMaster said:


> Guy here had septic tank troubles and the pumper truck came out and dug the tank up.pulled the lids and found hundreds of condoms. The H.O. guy looked at the pumper truck man and said "I dont use condoms" Only he and his wife lived there. I guess the wife has explaining to do huh!!!:laughing:


 

:laughing: I Had that happen to me on a sewer call pulled a ball of them out with roots. He said I don't use condoms I'm away a lot no kids wife was up stairs. He asked you sure It's from my line I said yes. Paid me for my time.
I wonder what happened after I left. Honey look what the RR guy found:whistling2:


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## Protech (Sep 22, 2008)

I think every plumber has had one of those. I know I have


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

Protech said:


> I think every plumber has had one of those. I know I have


Sure makes or job interesting :thumbsup:


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## plumbob1234 (Mar 29, 2009)

You paid HOW MUCH for this place?


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## plumbob1234 (Mar 29, 2009)

I had a gas line R+R on a home that had caught fire. After removing the drop ceiling, about 8 to 10 beer cans were above the basement bathroom ceiling. While putting in the new gas line a gent came in that I thought was with the fire/flood contrator company. He kind of scowled at me when he asked, "have you been drinking on the job?" I then showed him they were not mine, but also they were not beer cans any more. I gave him an education on how a beer can is easily transformed into a crack pipe as these had been. Then he intoduced himself, he was not only the H.O. he was also a pastor, and the only one to use the bsmt. bath was his 16 yr old daughter. I'm guessing their was alot of repentence going on that night.


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## Bollinger plumber (Apr 3, 2009)

Lady you need to start using a laxitive. She was crapping bricks. Going there about 3 times a week to unstop her toilet.


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## Plumber Jim (Jun 19, 2008)

Ron The Plumber said:


> I sure would like to know who plumbed this under your sink, they did a piss poor job, HO said that was me.


ROFL :laughing:


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

My phone rang around 9pm one friday night and I looked at the caller I.d. and THOUGHT i recognized the phone number and it was my good friend that i had plans with that night to go party at the clubs. The phone number was one digit off and that was the last digit. I answer my phone...."You ready to get f'in ripped tonight?" OH MY MY...the guy started laughing and called me by name and told me he was MR. Jones on XX street!!!!! OH SH+T!!!!!! Its a customer!!!!! I had worked for him for about 5 or 6 years and he was an ex-fighter pilot from WW2......he told me he problem and i went by and turned the water off to the toilet.....he was so cool on my way out the door he said "Hey call me next week I might wanna go with you guys and get f'n ripped sounds like fun" he was laughing the whole time. Even gave me a 10.00 tip to buy my 1st drink with!!! Cool old man!!!! I learned a lesson that night!!!!!


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## Protech (Sep 22, 2008)

:laughing::lol:



TheMaster said:


> My phone rang around 9pm one friday night and I looked at the caller I.d. and THOUGHT i recognized the phone number and it was my good friend that i had plans with that night to go party at the clubs. The phone number was one digit off and that was the last digit. I answer my phone...."You ready to get f'in ripped tonight?" OH MY MY...the guy started laughing and called me by name and told me he was MR. Jones on XX street!!!!! OH SH+T!!!!!! Its a customer!!!!! I had worked for him for about 5 or 6 years and he was an ex-fighter pilot from WW2......he told me he problem and i went by and turned the water off to the toilet.....he was so cool on my way out the door he said "Hey call me next week I might wanna go with you guys and get f'n ripped sounds like fun" he was laughing the whole time. Even gave me a 10.00 tip to buy my 1st drink with!!! Cool old man!!!! I learned a lesson that night!!!!!


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

My pants belt loop got hung on a glass storm door latch and ripped the whole damn thing down and out into the yard and broke the glass. I didn't have to tell the H.O anything....she and about 4 others watched the whole thing happen. talk about embarrassed.


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

I called a commercial account that I had been working for along time and said "The new painter you guys have working for you is a complete idiot" The lady replied "thats my dad he just retired and wanted somthing to do"....OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO


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## UnclogNH (Mar 28, 2009)

TheMaster said:


> I called a commercial account that I had been working for along time and said "The new painter you guys have working for you is a complete idiot" The lady replied "thats my dad he just retired and wanted somthing to do"....OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO


:laughing: that's bad :laughing:


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## Protech (Sep 22, 2008)

I learned a long time ago that you never know who your talking to s o watch your mouth.


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

Protech said:


> I learned a long time ago that you never know who your talking to s o watch your mouth.


 It goes both ways......I've had customers complain about the secretary at the office....I let them go on and on...then I tell them "yeah thats my mother". One guy was really goin off callin her a B+tch and this and that.....when i told him thats my mother.....I thought he was about to cry....you could see the fear in his eyes......I laughed...that was punishement enough. The guy looked like a 12 yr old...I'da killed him. :laughing: It was truly priceless. I later told the guy I agree with his assesment somtimes!!!!!! She can BE a real B+tch!!!!! She agrees too!!!!:laughing:


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

TheMaster said:


> I was on a roof once and had to call the H.O from my cell phone to come put my ladder back up against the house so I could get down.


I see someone getting a new signature coming out of this one...:laughing:


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

TheMaster said:


> Guy here had septic tank troubles and the pumper truck came out and dug the tank up.pulled the lids and found hundreds of condoms. The H.O. guy looked at the pumper truck man and said "I dont use condoms" Only he and his wife lived there. I guess the wife has explaining to do huh!!!:laughing:


Wow that one is about as common as a "Hot" Water Heater... :laughing:
I wonder if it actually ever happened because the first time I heard that one was before you were born... :whistling2:


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## tnoisaw (Jun 16, 2009)

I walked into a house that was trashed. The guy made a funny comment that his maid didn't show up today. Without thinking, I said, "Today? Heck, she hasn't been here in six months." His expression dropped and he was as embarased as I was.


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## Protech (Sep 22, 2008)

I don't think it that there is one story. I think just about every one will get one of those if in the trade long enough.



Redwood said:


> Wow that one is about as common as a "Hot" Water Heater... :laughing:
> I wonder if it actually ever happened because the first time I heard that one was before you were born... :whistling2:


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## Plumb-A-Holic (Jun 22, 2009)

Never had a real foot in the mouth experience "plumbing wise" , but I always hate it when the HO asks,ESPECIALLY when it's a woman,why the line stopped up and I have to tell them it was "feminine products". I always get a hilarious silence.:laughing:


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

Plumb-A-Holic said:


> Never had a real foot in the mouth experience "plumbing wise" , but I always hate it when the HO asks,ESPECIALLY when it's a woman,why the line stopped up and I have to tell them it was "feminine products". I always get a hilarious silence.:laughing:


I cabled a line once at a house down by the beach...
The parents moved into a home closer to the ocean and left their 3 daughters in the old home...
The line was stopped up and I cabled it and got it cleared.
They asked what stopped up the line as I was pulling tampoons off the cable...

I told them blind white sewer mice...
Fuzzy white body, tail, and no eyes...:whistling2:

One of the girls then asked, "Are those feminine products?"

I said, "Bingo!" :laughing:

Not embarrassing for me but plenty embarrassing for them...


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

Redwood said:


> Wow that one is about as common as a "Hot" Water Heater... :laughing:
> I wonder if it actually ever happened because the first time I heard that one was before you were born... :whistling2:


Better go check your own tank there bossman,might be more common than you think. Whats with the age thing? I know plenty of old idiots. I interact with one quite a bit.


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

Redwood said:


> I cabled a line once at a house down by the beach...
> The parents moved into a home closer to the ocean and left their 3 daughters in the old home...
> The line was stopped up and I cabled it and got it cleared.
> They asked what stopped up the line as I was pulling tampoons off the cable...
> ...


WOW I never heard that before....you sure it actually happened?


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

TheMaster said:


> Better go check your own tank there bossman,might be more common than you think. Whats with the age thing? I know plenty of old idiots. I interact with one quite a bit.


I'm gonna say the first time I heard that one was in the 60's when I was digging septic tank lids for a buddy of my dads who ran a honey wagon...:whistling2:

I think I was about 13....:laughing:


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

TheMaster said:


> WOW I never heard that before....you sure it actually happened?


Yea I'm pretty sure...:whistling2:


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## Cal (Jun 17, 2008)

Redwood said:


> Wow that one is about as common as a "Hot" Water Heater... :laughing:
> I wonder if it actually ever happened because the first time I heard that one was before you were born... :whistling2:


Nah,,, it happens ,,,I did it as an 18 yr old apprentice ,,,,, LEARNED MY LESSON that day --- Think it ,just DON'T say it !


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## ILPlumber (Jun 17, 2008)

http://www.snopes.com/love/betrayal/evidence.asp


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## Proud Plumber (Sep 15, 2008)

I was under cabinet and at the home of an extremely hot Milfy type lady in a very hot little robe. I sent my helper out to the truck to fetch me some materials.

BTW- that is the first trick I teach my helpers... fetch

Anyhow- I heard footsteps behind me and thought it was him. I stated spouting off on how hot she was and how I would like to rip that robe off and see what was going on underneath. I looked up, it was her. She smiled and ripped her robe off....

NAH!!!, that really didn't happen But I bet you kept on reading until the end. Now get back to work.


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## ROCKSTARPLUMBER (Dec 14, 2008)

Went to a home one time to fix a leak on a tub vavle. had to gain acess through the back of the lavatory cabinet on the other side of the wall. Opened cabinet and BOOM. There it was, a battery operated thing, that wasnt for cleaning the bathroom if you catch my drift. I told the women, Um, im gonna go get some tools, you may want to take everything out from under that sink. Came back, toy was gone, HO was super embarrased. Oh, it was a purple one.


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

ILPlumber said:


> http://www.snopes.com/love/betrayal/evidence.asp


I was pretty sure that the first time I heard it the legend was closer to being fresh... :laughing:


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## WestCoastPlumber (Jun 17, 2008)

TheMaster said:


> My pants belt loop got hung on a glass storm door latch and ripped the whole damn thing down and out into the yard and broke the glass. I didn't have to tell the H.O anything....she and about 4 others watched the whole thing happen. talk about embarrassed.


 
I was walking in a section 8 apartment a few weeks back, last call of the day, about 6:30, not paying attention, broke the womens rabbit ear antenna crap, asked her how much it was, she told me she didn't know, momma bought it for her, so I gave her 40$ for it... :furious:


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

I had a call once for a clogged KS drain on a tin house on wheels...
I tried running the line by removing the trap but I knew the cable was just a couple of feet shy of making it all the way...
Sure enough it didn't clear...
There was a cleanout way in the back corner under the cabinets...
Seemed like a better choice than going under the trailer on a winter evening...

But, it sure was going to be tight getting in there...

I got in there alright and cleared the line but on the way out through the double cabinet door with a divider and sho nuff my belt loop is caught on the way out...

Problem is I have no azz and the pants are sliding off...

Uh Ma'am... Could you leave the room for a minute...:laughing:

Sho nuff they were around my ankles when I got out and could finally get the belt loop unhooked...:whistling2:


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

lol. If she were pretty i would have assked her to stay.


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## Lee in Texas (Jun 24, 2009)

I try to watch what I say around customers. I saw some dumb stuff when I was an apprentice. I was in a house for a water heater replacement. It was leaking in the attic. The customer was a beautiful trophy wife. The guy I was working with said that waters heaters leaking in the attic are called "double douchers". WTF?

Same plumber. I forgot what the call was for but we noticed that one hose bibb did not have a vacuum breaker. He pointed that out and the Homeowner asked "What's the worst that could happen if I don't put one on?". "You could die". Gee Bill, don't try to scare them or anything. (this guy's m.o. was scaring customers into buying parts they didn't really need. I know, they do need the vacuum breaker, but still...)

I once went to a house with another plumber for a water heater that wouldn't stay lit. He opened up the closet and...ugh...it had a 6" metal 90 caulked onto the top of the heater. The first thing out of my mouth was "Who installed THIS?" Of course it was the customer's husband. 

On a leaking shower job, mother nature called. My insides were tearing me up. She was miles from a gas station so I asked if I could use her toilet. Then I found out why we NEVER do that. It wouldn't flush. I was in a spare van that OF COURSE had no plunger or closet auger. I started looking in her cabinets but couldn't find a plunger. I had to ask if she had one I could use. I was supposed to find a contractor to remove her mirror so we could change out the shower valve, but I never called her back.


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## retired rooter (Dec 31, 2008)

Yrs ago I was on my back installing a sink faucet,the older lady sitting at a table across from me giggled left room came back with her daughter both were fat and butt ugly ,they kept grinning and laughing I was wearning short pants and one of my b---s was hanging out I jumped up adjusted my pants and apoligised ,they said let it all hang out best show they had in years both dying laughing , I could have died no more shorts on inside jobs EXXXXXXCUUUUSSSEE MEEEE


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## SewerRatz (Apr 25, 2009)

I never said anything bad to a home owner. But one of the guys I ran a truck with did a huge no no. I was around 20 years old Herman the German, was in his early 60's. We where sent out on a clogged kitchen sink in this condo high rise. These sink lines where long and pain in the ass to do. The lady was a hawk stood over our shoulders all the time and kept tapping Herman on his shoulder and asking questions. About the 20th time she tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped up and yelled " LADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE F*** UP. I WILL ANSWER ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS WHEN I GET THE LINE OPEN!!!!"

Her jaw as well as mine dropped. She did not say another word to us till we where done.


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## SewerRatz (Apr 25, 2009)

retired rooter said:


> Yrs ago I was on my back installing a sink faucet,the older lady sitting at a table across from me giggled left room came back with her daughter both were fat and butt ugly ,they kept grinning and laughing I was wearning short pants and one of my b---s was hanging out I jumped up adjusted my pants and apoligised ,they said let it all hang out best show they had in years both dying laughing , I could have died no more shorts on inside jobs


Something like that happened to a buddy of mine but not on a job. His wife, my other friend and his wife as well as me where at one of them old time A&W Root Beer drive ins, that was having a car show in the parking lot. Well we all went in to order up some root beer floats, and as Adam was paying for his stuff the girl covered her mouth and giggled looking down at his pants. Turns out his fly would not stay up and locked and his little horse decided to come out and show its head. I practically fell on the floor laughing at him when I realized what was going on and how beet red he turned.


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## tnoisaw (Jun 16, 2009)

Proud Plumber said:


> I was under cabinet and at the home of an extremely hot Milfy type lady in a very hot little robe. I sent my helper out to the truck to fetch me some materials.
> 
> BTW- that is the first trick I teach my helpers... fetch
> 
> ...


 LOL! My wife liked that too.


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## ROCKSTARPLUMBER (Dec 14, 2008)

retired rooter said:


> Yrs ago I was on my back installing a sink faucet,the older lady sitting at a table across from me giggled left room came back with her daughter both were fat and butt ugly ,they kept grinning and laughing I was wearning short pants and one of my b---s was hanging out I jumped up adjusted my pants and apoligised ,they said let it all hang out best show they had in years both dying laughing , I could have died no more shorts on inside jobs EXXXXXXCUUUUSSSEE MEEEE


"I thought you were kinda crazy Mr., but now i can see your nutz!!":laughing::laughing::laughing:


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## Bollinger plumber (Apr 3, 2009)

Redwood said:


> Wow that one is about as common as a "Hot" Water Heater... :laughing:
> I wonder if it actually ever happened because the first time I heard that one was before you were born... :whistling2:


Don't know how may times I have heard the story about the corvette that a guy committed suicide in and was in there for months. The car stunk so bad that he sold it for 200 dollars. I have heard that in every state I have ever lived in. Funny thing about it is. Its always a good friend of thiers, Guy gets around is all I gotta say.


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## Song Dog (Jun 12, 2008)

I worked with a guy once years ago who, sometimes....well he just didn't think before he spoke.
We was on a new house and she was pretty wound up at just about everything we were doing. She got a phone call and when she got off the phone, she seemed a tad bit bothered. Then the guy asked her when she had her back turned. Where do you want you sillcock. She wipped around and sad WHAT? Then I spoke up and said your outside hose faucet....
That was the talk around the shop for a good while.

In Christ,

Song Dog


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## para1 (Jun 17, 2008)

Had a woman ask me how long my snake was.
I said, "long enough to get the job done".
She said " I'll be the judge of that". :jester:


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## Bollinger plumber (Apr 3, 2009)

SewerRatz said:


> I never said anything bad to a home owner. But one of the guys I ran a truck with did a huge no no. I was around 20 years old Herman the German, was in his early 60's. We where sent out on a clogged kitchen sink in this condo high rise. These sink lines where long and pain in the ass to do. The lady was a hawk stood over our shoulders all the time and kept tapping Herman on his shoulder and asking questions. About the 20th time she tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped up and yelled " LADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE F*** UP. I WILL ANSWER ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS WHEN I GET THE LINE OPEN!!!!"
> 
> Her jaw as well as mine dropped. She did not say another word to us till we where done.


 been there done that. kept asking me how much it was going to cost. I told her if you don't shut up and quit bothering me it will cost a lot more.


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## Proud Plumber (Sep 15, 2008)

SewerRatz said:


> I never said anything bad to a home owner. But one of the guys I ran a truck with did a huge no no. I was around 20 years old Herman the German, was in his early 60's. We where sent out on a clogged kitchen sink in this condo high rise. These sink lines where long and pain in the ass to do. The lady was a hawk stood over our shoulders all the time and kept tapping Herman on his shoulder and asking questions. About the 20th time she tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped up and yelled " LADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE F*** UP. I WILL ANSWER ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS WHEN I GET THE LINE OPEN!!!!"
> 
> Her jaw as well as mine dropped. She did not say another word to us till we where done.


I have had a couple clients I really really really wanted to do that, never had the stones though.


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

SewerRatz said:


> I never said anything bad to a home owner. But one of the guys I ran a truck with did a huge no no. I was around 20 years old Herman the German, was in his early 60's. We where sent out on a clogged kitchen sink in this condo high rise. These sink lines where long and pain in the ass to do. The lady was a hawk stood over our shoulders all the time and kept tapping Herman on his shoulder and asking questions. About the 20th time she tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped up and yelled " LADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE F*** UP. I WILL ANSWER ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS WHEN I GET THE LINE OPEN!!!!"
> 
> Her jaw as well as mine dropped. She did not say another word to us till we where done.


I have a great deal of patience when dealing with customers. I've always one to be sent when one of our guys botch up a job and the customer is pissed...

I usually manage to get things smoothed over pretty well...

But, one day I almost did the same thing with a customer...
An older woman I explained the problem, what needed to be done, our guarantee on the repair, and our flat rate pricing for the job...

Got the signature on the quote and we're good to go... Right?:no:

Turns out the lady has some Alzheimers going on or, Dementia for the next couple of hours she drives me nutz asking me how much it's going to cost every 30 seconds...

I finally got done and got out of there I was ready for a check up from the neck up myself....


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## gusty60 (Oct 21, 2008)

Proud Plumber said:


> I was under cabinet and at the home of an extremely hot Milfy type lady in a very hot little robe. I sent my helper out to the truck to fetch me some materials.
> 
> BTW- that is the first trick I teach my helpers... fetch
> 
> ...


 Yup. You got me! LOL:laughing:


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## plumbob1234 (Mar 29, 2009)

Well I am proud to report (and happy to find someone who hasen't heard me boast about this story), that really did happen to me. While hooking up supply tubes on a faucet change-out, I herd hottie homeowner walk in, didn't look out from cabinet but said,"I'll be outa here in 5 minutes or so if you need the sink". Her reply," LIKE F%@K you will be", and proceeded to violate me in ways that have scared me for life. Who am I kidding, my mental state was scrambled long before here. God do I need a callback!!!


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## Bollinger plumber (Apr 3, 2009)

I have been proposition a few times but always walked away. Heard too many bad stories about tradesmen getting in some bad trouble. But I do have a funny story about a guy I use to work with named steve. 
We were doing new construction on some townhouses in Maryland and one of the customers on a finished townhome called in and said she was having problems with her disposal. Well steve was an older gentleman and did most of our warranty work after the homeowners moved in. We were working on a building under construction right next door to where the call was when steve pulled up with his pipe in his mouth as always. He knocked on the door and the lady dressed in a bathrobe let him in. He went into the kitchen to start working on the disposal when this lady straddle him and bent over exposing her upper torso. Turned out she had just had some plastic surgery done and wanted steve's opinion on how the job turned out. Like I said steve smoked a pipe constantly and this was backed in the 70's when people still let you smoke in their houses.
We were standing outside the home on our morning break when steve came running out of the house with his shirt just a smoking. He said he got so excited when she exposed herself he bit down on the stem of his pipe sending hot ashes flying all over his chest catching his polyester shirt on fire.:laughing::laughing:


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## Proud Plumber (Sep 15, 2008)

I always heard the stories from the shop studs, but never had it happen to me. The only thing I can say that happened is I did a warranty service call on a Moen one touch years ago at a house some Germans were renting. There were a 1/2 dozen of them out by the pool sunbathing in there birthday suits. No not one of three women there were hot and I felt like it was a rebirth of the seventies. I fixed the POS faucet and got out of there. I was more disgusted than embarrassed.


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## TheMaster (Jun 12, 2009)

Proud Plumber said:


> I always heard the stories from the shop studs, but never had it happen to me. The only thing I can say that happened is I did a warranty service call on a Moen one touch years ago at a house some Germans were renting. There were a 1/2 dozen of them out by the pool sunbathing in there birthday suits. No not one of three women there were hot and I felt like it was a rebirth of the seventies. I fixed the POS faucet and got out of there. I was more disgusted than embarrassed.


 99% of the ones that wanna show you somthing ....really shouldn't:laughing::yes:


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## bob young (May 4, 2009)

I once asked a customer with a big belly when the baby was due. big mistake. she gave me the most puzzled look you could ever imagine. she was just fat. long time customer but never really got a good look at her. had a hard time looking her in the face after that blunder. never did that again. and that was in 1981.


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## Plumbus (Aug 4, 2008)

bob young said:


> I once asked a customer with a big belly when the baby was due. big mistake. she gave me the most puzzled look you could ever imagine. she was just fat. long time customer but never really got a good look at her. had a hard time looking her in the face after that blunder. never did that again. and that was in 1981.


Just think how big her belly is now. Women, who know their sisters better than we ever will, have been known to make the same mistake, even to the point of asking the due date.


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## gladerunner (Jan 24, 2009)

This is not something I said, but something I did. About 10 years ago, I went to Install a backflow preventer at this warehouse. It was 2 day's before christmas and every one was cheerful. They had this little dog as a pet and he was following me around. I had shut down and taken the service apart and was going out to get something out of my truck when the dog ran out past me into the street and got ran over dead by a trash truck. needless to say the people were no longer cheerful, some of the woman in the office were crying and I had to stay and get the water back on. WORST day of my professional life. Did I mention the little dog bone with a bow hanging on the office tree.


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

gladerunner said:


> This is not something I said, but something I did. About 10 years ago, I went to Install a backflow preventer at this warehouse. It was 2 day's before christmas and every one was cheerful. They had this little dog as a pet and he was following me around. I had shut down and taken the service apart and was going out to get something out of my truck when the dog ran out past me into the street and got ran over dead by a trash truck. needless to say the people were no longer cheerful, some of the woman in the office were crying and I had to stay and get the water back on. WORST day of my professional life. Did I mention the little dog bone with a bow hanging on the office tree.


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## Plasticman (Oct 14, 2008)

The most embarrasing thing to me was when I got finished working on this ladies toilet, my stomach hit me like I had just left kfc. I sat quietly on the throne I just fixed and did my business. She must have noticed how quiete it became in there, especially when the door was shut and the f fan was running. She knocked on the door and asked was everything ok and I sat there a second or so and replied, " yes mam, just testing it out"
Lord did I hate to face her after that


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## Plumbus (Aug 4, 2008)

I'm finishing up the rough on a building shell in an industrial park and my bowls start to quiver (24 hr flu bug) and there's no out house. I start going from building to building looking for a unit that's occupied so I can ask to use the john. Finally, I find a receptionist who agrees to let me use the facility at which point it's everything I can do not to let loose on her carpet. I stumble into the head, do my liquidy business, try to clean up the bowl some, and leaving the fan on I slither out the side door so I don't have to cross her line of vision, silently blessing her as I make my way back to my truck, home and bed.


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## frostyplumber (Jul 16, 2009)

i had a call out to a house with a rinnai h2o heater that had a horrible well (real fine sand) had stopped the flow switch as when the lady answered the door i oped with " hi I am here to clean the sand out of your unit"


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

Bump for the new guys


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## PeckPlumbing (Mar 19, 2011)

I always get strange looks when Its Monday and I say 'Have a good weekend!'.. 

I get this feeling the customer is thinking 'if he forgot its Monday, what else did he forget while working on that sink..'


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## 504Plumber (Jan 26, 2011)

Was working at a gay couples house one time and had to get under a low house, they didn't think I could and I told them I can fit in 7 inches, I measured... I felt weird after that. ( I really can fit under a house 7" off the ground )


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

I told the site superintendent for the GC of the project I was on once to "F off and stay F'ed off" when he "told" me, a UNION PLUMBER, to move some pipe and miscellaneous material. His phone came out like it was a pistol in a holster, and he went running for my GF's trailer... We get along great now, but I was worried for a bit...

I can't remember who's sig it is but:

"I've never been fired, but I've been laid off, while they were hiring..." classic

:laughing:


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## plumbtastic (Apr 27, 2011)

I mistaked a homeowner for the cleaning lady once. Asked her how many houses she cleans a day and she said One and i said well they must pay you good.


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## kfosh (Jun 17, 2008)

Several years ago I was on a job with another plumber. His truck was getting a brake job. Anyway he was sitting on the toilet backwards andI was going to go out to the truck to get faucet parts. asked him if i needed to bring him a ballcock. just then the woman of the house came out of the closet and said I like that. I don't like the hair to stick in my teeth but i realy like that. from then on it is a float controal or a water measuring device. 
Back then with that company we sold a lot of bioclean and i presented it at all service calls. the same woman didnot want it then but asked if she could call in and have me deliver it to her some evening when husband and kids were gone i said sure then told the office i she called back for it send someone else


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## gear junkie (Jun 20, 2008)

This week had a female attractive customer ask me in person how long my snake was. she caught me off guard so I had nothing witty to say.


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## mialle30 (May 10, 2010)

Just got off the phone with my mom and called a customer to let her know I was on the way. Ended the conversation with "love you!"

Another time I was working under a sink and completely split the crotch of my pants about six inches long. needless to say I was free balling (no undies) and only on my second job for the day.


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## PrecisePlumbing (Jan 31, 2011)

My girlfriend surprised me with an extremely 'pleasing' photo message exactly when I was showing a very proper middle aged lady some photos of her solar hot water service I just installed in a very well to do area. I froze then quickly put the phone in my pocket but luckily she giggled and said ' your a lucky boy then aren't you?' I was red with total embarassment haha


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## plumber666 (Sep 19, 2010)

During my short but illustrious career as a plumbing instructor at a local college, I had my laptop hooked up to the projector and was showing the class an email with a code clarification from the POABC (Plumbing Officials Assn. of British Columbia). My wife was at home, thought I musta been in my office, and sent me an IM that said "Hi Sexy!"
The class went nuts, especially this French Canadian guy.
At the time, couples being couples, I had this stupid nickname for her: "Poo-Belle". I dunno where it came from. It of course was on the screen beside the message.
As the class was calming down, and I was a tad embarassed, scrambling around trying to turn off the messaging before I got any more embarrassed, the French Canadian kid was still peeing himself.
I said."Jean Pierre, you gonna be OK?"
Tears down his face, he gets up and leads me into our shop, where theres a brand new plastic garbage can. He points to the bilingual label on it that says "Garbage Can" and in French: "Poubelle".
Then he asks, "Ow come you call yer wife Garbage Can??"
Me and 13 students will never forget that day:thumbup:


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## Plumberman (Jul 7, 2008)

This wasn't a h.o but and higher up at a hospital east of town. They had a 4 in cast iron main running just above the drop in ceiling that had cracked down the bottom. Needless to say it ruined a bunch of equipment in his office. 

We had to move a bunch of filing cabinets out from the wall so I could get in there to make the repair. Me and the helper moved one cabinet and a red binder was behind it. When it fell over I saw some 1980s hustlers.... Bush wacker style. 

I went to thumbing through them and was amazed at the growth of we all know what.... Lol. 

Ole dude walked in while I was peeping in his collection, he was embarrassed and so was I, I said here's your magazine bud, and went to fixing the main. Haha


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## 1703 (Jul 21, 2009)

Plumberman said:


> This wasn't a h.o but and higher up at a hospital east of town. They had a 4 in cast iron main running just above the drop in ceiling that had cracked down the bottom. Needless to say it ruined a bunch of equipment in his office.
> 
> We had to move a bunch of filing cabinets out from the wall so I could get in there to make the repair. Me and the helper moved one cabinet and a red binder was behind it. When it fell over I saw some 1980s hustlers.... Bush wacker style.
> 
> ...


I was trying to identify some stainless steel fixtures at a commercial building a couple years ago. I knew where they kept the prints and as-builts up in the mechanical room.

The janitor let me in and nervously wanted to help me look through the pile of papers.

I pulled out a stack and out fell a smut mag that made hustler look like a Sunday church program.

It fell open to a page of shrubbery and the janitor got all nervous and embarrassed. 

I said "dayam *****, you'd need a weed whacker to cut through that vegetation."

This guys son plays in the NBA, so whenever I see his son on ESPN I remember the look on his face and it makes me chuckle.


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## AWWGH (May 2, 2011)

It wasn't me, but someone who I was working with. When I first started the guy I was learning from was teaching me how to service a water softener. We went through the basic stuff and then he says "Here is the most important part, you must make love to it." He wrapped his arms around the thing and started making indesent motions towards it and pretended to kiss it; then in walked the HO, it was a little awkward to say the least


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

Not something I said, but something I did. I was project mgr. on a large church project and they wanted to make some major changes. I told them that I would have to contact the Civil Engineer on the project. I pulled out my const. calc. and started trying to punch in numbers like a cell phone. My utility and dirt contractors are standing there watching intently. I caught what I was doing, and ask them why they didn't say something? They said that they thought I was going to show them something new! Tooo much on my mind that day.


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## slipjoint (May 4, 2011)

does anyone know about the unions in the south i was thinking about joining


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

slipjoint said:


> does anyone know about the unions in the south i was thinking about joining


Hello! Introduction Requested
An intro is requested from all new members. In case you missed it, here is the link. http://www.plumbingzone.com/f3/.

The PZ is for Plumbing Professionals ( those engaged in the plumbing profession)

Post an intro and tell our members where you are from, yrs in the trade, and your area(s) of expertise in the plumbing field.

This info helps members who are waiting to welcome you to the best plumbing site there is.

We look forward to your valuable input.


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

What do the unions in the south have to do with the price of tea in china???

:laughing:


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## ironandfire (Oct 9, 2008)

house plumber said:


> Like it says, tell your most embarrassing thing you said.


Gal putting a salon in her basement. I asked when she was due. She wasn't.:laughing:


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## RW Plumbing (Aug 16, 2010)

I once was explaining why we didn't cover a certain item in our warranty(customer supplied part). I said I don't want to be a dick but.... His name was Dick.


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