# How do you REMAIN calm and cool when someone PI$$es you off



## Richard Hilliard (Apr 10, 2010)

QUESTION


Why the need or feeling to get confrontational? Typically when I get into that mood it is hard to get back out and it affects the rest of my day.

I have jacked a plumber against a concrete wall with a spud bar in hand. I once put head in a metal break ready to throw the break. I could have killed that a hole and ruin my life. I once put a guy’s head into a toilet bowl because he pissed me off. I have done other really stupid things that I will not put in writing. I can kind of get nuts. It is not because I cannot get fired up it is because I choose not to get confrontational.

QUESTION ON THE QUESTION
Maybe off topic, but how do you control it? You can't tell me you don't deal with some people that you'd like to punch in the face.


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

5 mg Valium


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## Richard Hilliard (Apr 10, 2010)

YOU cannot edit Titles/LMAO
That word is REMAIN


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## Richard Hilliard (Apr 10, 2010)

Good question. There have been some changes that have happened to me over time.1 was a life changing event with my wife. Roughly 15 years ago we went through a rough time. We like most married couples with children discovered we no longer were spending time together and had grown apart. We were lucky we sat down one morning at 6:00 AM and talked until 4: 00 PM. Both of us called off work and we hammered out our differences in 1 day. There was not stone left unturned. We both discovered at this time there is nothing that cannot be fixed when we want it to be fixed and together we are stronger than we are separately. I am able to take this philosophy with me at work .

Here it is basically broke down in simple turns. We live in a constant tornado. This twister goes round and round with all kinds of crap circling around us. While this crap is building up we are in the center and it is tough to do anything with this circling crap due to begin inside the twister. I have to stop and move outside the twister and then take a look into the swirling crap and can see how to maneuver best around the obstacles that are presented. Once I am on the outside I see clearer. Sort of like this; do you want to be the storm chaser in the middle of the storm not knowing which way it will turn or the weatherman inside the studio saying hey you better move to the left as it is about to go to the right.

Today was one of those days. yep there are days where all I want to do is release rage the above helps me to control it.


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## Plumbergeek (Aug 16, 2010)

Here is my solution to going overboard on someone, "WWJD" If you are unfamiliar with what it means "What would Jesus do?"
Then I think of the legality of my actions! 
I have never been close to clocking someone with physical harm although I have been known to "Get Loud" when dealing with an idiot customer! :thumbup:
As far as everyday problems I find a good prayer life along with my christian wife to help me to let things go and to not worry myself sick about things out of my control. Try it, it really works!


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## OldSchool (Jan 30, 2010)

you really got to come to terms that nothing really matters...

If you fell into a hole .... climb out...

If some one is mad or angry ... look at the lighter side and laugh

I had lots a people try to get confrontational and while they were yelling and going off I would just start laughing... and though the whole thing was funny...

Had one guy.... rich bugger who like to give everybody S.hitz.... well he tried it on me one day and I laughed in his face..... well he stopped what he was doing and said ... no sense in giving you S.hitz... and told me I was going to live a long time because I dont take any thing serious...

Believe me there was lots of times I would have loved to punch some one in the face... but I was never pushed hard enough to do it...

I think it is all about self control...


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## DesertOkie (Jul 15, 2011)

With customers no problem, I figure I am taking their shoit for money. For the most part I am calm, but I do come unglued if they screw with the guys working under me. I am a big boy and can take it, but I will not put up with those who get pissy with the "worker bees".


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## ILPlumber (Jun 17, 2008)

Richard Hilliard said:


> YOU cannot edit Titles/LMAO
> That word is REMAIN


 
Title has been changed. Or it coulda reained the same....


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## Richard Hilliard (Apr 10, 2010)

ILPlumber said:


> Title has been changed. Or it coulda reained the same....


 
Who needs the letter M anyway


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## nhmaster3015 (Aug 5, 2008)

I'm usually the guy that guys like you want to smack :laughing:


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## Plumbergeek (Aug 16, 2010)

nhmaster3015 said:


> I'm usually the guy that guys like you want to smack :laughing:


:laughing::laughing: I think I would agree, considering that other thread.....
That's okay though, everyone see's things from a different perspective. :2guns::2guns::2guns::2guns:


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## MarkToo (Dec 17, 2011)

Richard Hilliard said:


> Who needs the letter M anyway



I'd like to keep it.

Thanks,

ark


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## user7551 (Oct 21, 2011)

Richard Hilliard said:


> QUESTION
> 
> 
> Why the need or feeling to get confrontational? Typically when I get into that mood it is hard to get back out and it affects the rest of my day.
> ...



I know what your saying Richard some of the people I deal with sometimes I want to punch in the face . Not very often do I want to do this but sometimes , I just think of my kids and wife and the urge passes, my tongue is a bloody pulp from biting it so hard from dealing with some people but it is what it is sometimes.


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

You can't remain cool and calm if someone has pissed you off. Your pissed off.


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## Richard Hilliard (Apr 10, 2010)

SlickRick said:


> You can't remain cool and calm if someone has pissed you off. Your pissed off.


 
Sure you can and as proof your kids are still alive


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## nhmaster3015 (Aug 5, 2008)

I spend my days with high school kids. Mostly boys. If I couldn't control the urge to smack someone I'd have lost my job a long time ago. I don't know why but things that drive other teachers up the wall, I find humor in. I think it's my age and the confidence that age can bring.


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

My kids have always been great for the most part.


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## drs (Jun 17, 2011)

I just don't let people yell at me. If I screw up, I let them know it before they find out and even correct the screw up.

I have been in homes where "The man of the house" Thinks its on to yell at me because I have to beg for his work and he is paying me to get yelled at. I just wal away and get out of there.

I have had customers put their hands on me and regret it bigtime. I do understand that we all have stress that gets botteled up and the "Right time" comes along, Uncontrolled fight or flight kicks in and that energy dump hits and if we can't see the road we could travel be a bad one and turn around and walk away, there could be a hell of alot of problems in our future.

Hang in there and learn to see the signs and learn how to keep stress under control.

If somebody swings at you then all bets are off and return fire at will because at that point they are trying to kill you.


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

You guy's need professional help.


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## sikxsevn (Jun 23, 2009)

I find that it helps to 'take a step back' from the situation an take a breather to calm down. 

Here's some more food for thought: what good does it do to get upset or bent out of shape? What good does it do to worry about something that's outside of your control?

Sent from my iPhon


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## Don The Plumber (Feb 14, 2010)

Happy people pi$$ me off.:furious:


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## okcplum (Jul 16, 2011)

I just walk away if I know I'm gonna get pi**** and if the person pi***** me off follows me to carry on then the simple words that come out my mouth are,,,, feck off now before we go any further and things get messy.

I can take most things but we all have a trigger point and there is always someone who wants to try that trigger point.

I am a very calm person and people miss judge me when they meet because of my size and hair style,, lol.


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## hroark2112 (Apr 16, 2011)

I rarely get pissed off. It's really hard to rile me up, except on the ice. At work, it's pretty much impossible.

Customers have tried, but I just don't let myself lose it.


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## Mississippiplum (Sep 30, 2011)

It's hard to piss me off, but u talk about my family and all bets are off! But to get me swing a punch takes you screwing w/ my family or you swingin, pushing, etc. Me 

Other then that I'm a calm person that doesn't start stuff with people, you can cuss me all u want but I stand there and lmao. Its HARD to piss me off

sent from the jobsite porta-potty


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

I use to be quite the scrapper in my younger years -- It didn't take much to get the fists flying. I didn't really need an excuse or reason.

It took a couple of stints in the stockade in Quantico and then jail on the outside for me to calm down.

I've been involved in a few altercations since then, but I'm a lot craftier, aware and more measured in how I choose to respond these days.


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## DesertOkie (Jul 15, 2011)

Widdershins said:


> I use to be quite the scrapper in my younger years -- It didn't take much to get the fists flying. I didn't really need an excuse or reason.
> 
> It took a couple of stints in the stockade in Quantico and then jail on the outside for me to calm down.
> 
> I've been involved in a few altercations since then, *but I'm a lot craftier, aware and more measured in how I choose to respond these days*.



Tell that to the poor nurses that wake up with cold sweats because of you.:laughing:


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## Abel Plumber (Sep 3, 2011)

I know my boss wants to punch me sometimes. I respect the guy a hell of alot but there are days we dont see eye to eye. There have been times ive kind of flipped out on him but its never been enough for me to want to hit him, but he's had that "you better shut your mouth before I drop you junior."look in his eye.


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## mccmech (Jul 6, 2011)

Widdershins said:


> I use to be quite the scrapper in my younger years -- It didn't take much to get the fists flying. I didn't really need an excuse or reason.
> 
> It took a couple of stints in the stockade in Quantico and then jail on the outside for me to calm down.
> 
> I've been involved in a few altercations since then, but I'm a lot craftier, aware and more measured in how I choose to respond these days.


I bet your inner child is a real %$^&, yes?:whistling2:


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

DesertOkie said:


> Tell that to the poor nurses that wake up with cold sweats because of you.:laughing:


Yeah, I didn't really expect anyone to buy into the idea of a kinder, gentler Widdershins.:laughing::laughing:

Sometimes I just gotta be me.:yes:


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

mccmech said:


> I bet your inner child is a real %$^&, yes?:whistling2:


:yes:.


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## mccmech (Jul 6, 2011)

Seriously, how do all you " cool cucumbers" keep from having heart attacks from bottling up the anger? It may not happen directly to the client causing my ire, but rest assured I will vent at some point during that day. I'm a firm believer of venting the frustration, so as to not put any additional stress on my heart. Feelings will heal, my heart may not, and I now want to be around a long time to tweek my children's mother:thumbup:


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## KCplumber (Dec 31, 2009)

If customers are trying to get on my nerves I generally will take it out on them with my pen ... $


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## KCplumber (Dec 31, 2009)

I've already done the heart thing, you just have to relax and get even in a kinder, gentler way


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## Epox (Sep 19, 2010)

If I see a tense moment coming I can prep for it. (usually). A heads up is always a plus and then I can empathize and bring a tense moment to a good place. Sadly I can still be pushed into being someone I don't like which is rare. I have to bridge a gap if possible even if it's just for a moment.
I can say you become who you hang with much of the time. If it's a positive thing great, if not then a change is needed.

Sorry, I wasn't much help on this on.


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## Doubletap (May 5, 2010)

KCplumber said:


> If customers are trying to get on my nerves I generally will take it out on them with my pen ... $


:thumbup:

I don't get mad in traffic, at the bar, at the house, or at work. No reason for it.

Challenging customers pay higher prices. If I'm being messed with I can scare anyone to death with sewer problem stories. If I have a difficult customer I keep those sorries rolling the whole time I'm there. By then time I unclog their toilet they are glad to pay me and are smiling from ear to ear because they didn't need a sewer replacement.


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## MikeS (Oct 3, 2011)

when I was young, the littlest things used to piss me off. Nowadays, the only thing that gets me riled is when dispatch sends me to 2 jobs at the same time, and I try to explain to them, but, they don't understand, so I get a little testy, and then I feel real bad for getting uppity with them. Customers, no way do I get mad. But, I do not let customers tell me how to do my job, either. So, how do I stay calm? I have a saying, "Think happy thoughts and keep your mouth shut." I'm even considering a tattoo, one of those yellow happy face things, with his mouth stitched shut, on the back of my hand or something, for the times I need to be reminded.


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## plbgbiz (Aug 27, 2010)

I have no need to respond to people that cross me.

I refer them to MizBiz. :thumbup:

Problem solved.


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## RW Plumbing (Aug 16, 2010)

I think just knowing I could tell a customer where to go is enough. I've walked out of jobs though. Instead of getting mad I just leave. When you walk in and the customer starts talking like you're their servant. One thing I dont tolerate is condescension. I'm there to help talk to me like a fellow human being and we'll be good.

The golden rule is important.


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## Associated Plum (Nov 4, 2008)

Iv'e got to get a heavy bag for the office, otherwise I don't know how many more holes I can put in 5/8" sheetrock without breaking my hand.


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## piper1 (Dec 16, 2011)

_ being new to plumbing zone. i find it very insightful, so maybe this can help. rage is built in all of us, hardwired at brith. with that in mind, you could try a gym grappling /wrestling jodo these type of sports give us the release we need for that side of us. without getting lock up, hurting love ones etc. you dont have to go balls to the wall at these places. find one you can go at to your on pace .also this dose not happen overnight but it has helped people remain clam in the worst of times, im guessing its the energy used. when trying to impose you will on your sparing partner. it ties togather mind and body. after a while at this kind of stuff you will find a sense clam. btw it also helps with the physcial side of the job_


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

piper1 said:


> _ being new to plumbing zone. i find it very insightful, so maybe this can help. rage is built in all of us, hardwired at brith. with that in mind, you could try a gym grappling /wrestling jodo these type of sports give us the release we need for that side of us. without getting lock up, hurting love ones etc. you dont have to go balls to the wall at these places. find one you can go at to your on pace .also this dose not happen overnight but it has helped people remain clam in the worst of times, im guessing its the energy used. when trying to impose you will on your sparing partner. it ties togather mind and body. after a while at this kind of stuff you will find a sense clam. btw it also helps with the physcial side of the job_


Sounds like too much work to me.


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## Richard Hilliard (Apr 10, 2010)

Remaining calm and composed does not mean that we or you do not get angry or upset. The difference is not to lose it and go ape sh#t.


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## stillaround (Mar 11, 2009)

When I was young ..I didnt like people insinuating that I didnt know what I was doing...hard to cope while I was learning on their job

When I worked for a few years I heard my boss 's answer to do they know what they are doing....." it depends who you ask".....taught me how to look for a light hearted escape

If I get a confrontational customer ( hardly ever ) who is demanding I suppose letting them know they will be no happier when Im done and I dont want that to get in the way of getting paid....Ive been doing this a long time are we going to have a problem...or some such comment might be useful, but walking out is good too....just dont trip...


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## Epox (Sep 19, 2010)

Richard Hilliard said:


> Remaining calm and composed does not mean that we or you do not get angry or upset. The difference is not to lose it and go ape sh#t.


Ahh that's where I make the wrong turn.
My wife handles intense situations better than I. She says I have a way of sounding insulting without having to say anything insulting, like a smirky laugh. So when it counts, I let her make the call. grinsssss


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## Epox (Sep 19, 2010)

My supervisor where I used to work was and is my hero in the calm department. This guy could take a extremely intense moment and turn it into peaceful resolve in a matter of a few minutes. Time after time. 
What he done is to take the matter and break it down and bring it step by step up to the resolve. Like this. "Kkkkkkkkkk lets see, you went over there, customer agreed to the work, where did it go wrong, how did she act,,,, what did you do to fix it". Then he would call her and basically do the same thing and get what was eating her and ultimately turn it into money. He had a knack for it. Customers loved him.


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