# when you gotta go!



## damnplumber (Jan 22, 2012)

The older I get the shorter my bladder tollerance becomes especially after a Monster Energy drink. It never fails When I'm working in a customer's bathroom, The urge to go makes its pressence known. I really hate asking the customer permission to use the toilet I'm working on so I come up with an excuse to go get more parts and rush to the nearest gas station...Am I alone on this one? When you feel the need what do you do?


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## OldSchool (Jan 30, 2010)

Dunbar has it down to an art


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## OldSchool (Jan 30, 2010)




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## OldSchool (Jan 30, 2010)




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## RealCraftsMan (Dec 27, 2011)

We call it Ninja Shioting or pissing do it on the down low...


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## HOMER (Jun 5, 2011)

have to keep a p*ss bottle in your service vehicle.
mountain dew bottle is what Dunbar "might" have used...no proof here but the video doesn't lie

kind of a small target to hit

I use a plastic container with a wider opening to keep myself dry:laughing:


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## DUNBAR PLUMBING (Sep 11, 2008)

Your kidneys are talking to you.






 



If I had employees and caught them taking a sit down lunch or running to a gas station to take a leak, 

*FIRED.*

I expect you to work, not have your little luncheons or have to stop the world to take a leak. Do your business at the truck in a way that is respectable and unnoticed, *get back to work.*


*Eat between service calls on the way to the next, crap before you go to work. *

*Speed dial the supply houses, all of them on the phone. No BS running around looking for parts when phones have internet.*


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## RealCraftsMan (Dec 27, 2011)

DUNBAR PLUMBING said:


> Your kidneys are talking to you.
> 
> 
> Kidney animation in english.mp4 - YouTube
> ...


Is this a joke..lol


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## AlbacoreShuffle (Aug 28, 2011)

I keep a small ice cream bucket in the van, open the back doors an act like I'm looking for a part or tool and fill Ur up !
When I'm done I put that small bucket in a 5 gallon bucket and dump it out first chance I get.


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## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

damnplumber said:


> The older I get the shorter my bladder tollerance becomes especially after a Monster Energy drink. It never fails When I'm working in a customer's bathroom, The urge to go makes its pressence known. I really hate asking the customer permission to use the toilet I'm working on so I come up with an excuse to go get more parts and rush to the nearest gas station...Am I alone on this one? When you feel the need what do you do?


 







It's not your age, it's all the caffeine in those monster drinks, they have as much caffeine as like (2) pots of coffee...,....:laughing:

Caffeine is a diuretic. Like alcohol, it'll make you pee. Stay away from caffeine drinks, and your bathroom breaks will go down.


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## CTs2p2 (Dec 6, 2011)

RealCraftsMan said:


> We call it Ninja Shioting or pissing do it on the down low...




Yup no doubt.. I figure that for one they would have no problem with me using their can, and for two if they do it's easier to say sorry after than ask ahead of time.


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## Evelse (Feb 2, 2012)

Just use their bathroom. I really don't see the problem. I would advise against dropping a stinky load of crap but seriously they use the bathroom too. We're all human beings and all of our crap stinks


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## okcplum (Jul 16, 2011)

I am thinking of putting a chemical bog in my box van, lol.

The other day I was doing a gas test on a vacant house and was in the crawl space and all of a sudden I felt wet on my side, yep, my helper had used the bathroom and dropped his guts and stopped the line up and I got the bad end of it.

Boy was I upset, when I finished my work we then had to run the 1500 and unstop the line.

Lol.


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## Mississippiplum (Sep 30, 2011)

mark kiernan said:


> I am thinking of putting a chemical bog in my box van, lol.
> 
> The other day I was doing a gas test on a vacant house and was in the crawl space and all of a sudden I felt wet on my side, yep, my helper had used the bathroom and dropped his guts and stopped the line up and I got the bad end of it.
> 
> ...


That adds a new meaning to a "shioty" day

sent from the jobsite porta-potty


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## Plumbergeek (Aug 16, 2010)

I have a 5gal HD bucket in my box van that I keep filled 1/4 way with water to use as my pee can. I will use the customers if I am working on the toilet and they are not near by to notice I locked the door.:whistling2:
As far as going #2, I am 7:30 am regular:laughing:


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## user2090 (Sep 26, 2009)

I hate the revenge of certain foods that strike with no rhyme or reason, except while your in the middle of work. Go from 0 to dang near shart in seconds. :laughing:


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## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

Plumbergeek said:


> I have a 5gal HD bucket in my box van that I keep filled 1/4 way with water to use as my pee can. I will use the customers if I am working on the toilet and they are not near by to notice I locked the door.:whistling2:
> As far as going #2, I am 7:30 am regular:laughing:


 






That happened to me. LOL......I had to use the bathroom, so I found a seldom used bathroom in the garage. Don't you know the lady of the house followed me into the garage and tried to open the bathroom door. I just said, "I'll be right out." A little embarrased, but what else to do when you cannot hold it in?

As for peeing, one of the many fringe benefits of being a guy is I'll open the side door of my vehicle and pretend I'm looking for parts while I'm whizzing in a coffee can......:laughing:


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## okcplum (Jul 16, 2011)

Most people have foods that go through them like a Porsche, blood orange comes to mind, lol.

I ain't shy so I will start the ball rolling on this, I was once at a gas pump and had just eaten some thai food, yep, I got around 12 cents of gas in the car and........ Booooooooooom. Wife was Rollin around laughing. 
Yes I had shorts on and needless to say I had to have the leather cleaned in the car.

Come on guys, share yours... Lol.


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## walker426 (Oct 17, 2011)

Evelse said:


> Just use their bathroom. I really don't see the problem. I would advise against dropping a stinky load of crap but seriously they use the bathroom too. We're all human beings and all of our crap stinks


5 gallon bucket with a grocery bag has been my savior for a abnormal deuce and yes side door refilling the coffee cup i just drank!


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## user2090 (Sep 26, 2009)

mark kiernan said:


> Most people have foods that go through them like a Porsche, blood orange comes to mind, lol.
> 
> I ain't shy so I will start the ball rolling on this, I was once at a gas pump and had just eaten some thai food, yep, I got around 12 cents of gas in the car and........ Booooooooooom. Wife was Rollin around laughing.
> Yes I had shorts on and needless to say I had to have the leather cleaned in the car.
> ...


That reminds me of a time when our HVAC guy stopped at a in. He came in with that look on his face. :blink: asked if the guy was home, then commenced to blow the bathroom up. Literally one minute after he came out the homeowner came home and wanted to talk to me about a bath remodel. I tried to keep hm ut of the bathroom, but he walked right in. 

It was like walking into a cloud of death. :laughing:

I had a near miss one time, and had to use a bucket in the trailer(lake cottage), worse part was, I had the water off replacing the pump. I had to clean my bucket out in the channel.


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## Epox (Sep 19, 2010)

I've jumped in the truck with a deuce calling out, head for somewhere/anywhere as I sit sideways trying to keep things contained.:laughing:
Of course the light turns red. 
I think it's really bad taste to use a ho's commode for a deuce. And pretty much a company rule not to use it at all unless they aren't home.
Otherwise that's what the truck door is for. Or in my case the cargo trailer.


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## Lmp (Oct 17, 2011)

I got the best one! Me and my helper was doing a renovation in an apartment that had 2 bathrooms. One wasnt started until we finished the other one because the owner was still living there and also there was a bathroom in the basement of the building. So one day my helper had to take a dump I told him to go to the basement but he refused to he asked me to keep watch as he was doing his thing cause the door didn't lock I told go for it. Next thing I know the maid came to the room and asked me if there was anybody was in the bathroom and me being the ass that I am said no!!! All I can remember is the screams from both of them and her running holding her nose!!! For the next week I couldn't stop laughing at him!! But he learned his lesson never use the customers bathroom!!!!


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## OldSchool (Jan 30, 2010)

When I was a lot younger we use to a complete subdivisions of homes

It was my father and I and we would usually of a helper

Well there was this one help and he would just drive me crazy

So I day we were doing a new home and I was under the crawl space and my father was over by the laundry tub taking a piss

Well the helper comes over to me and ask if he can give me a hand and I say go ask my father if he needs a hand

So there is my father pissing in the laundry tub and the helper walks up behind him and ask can I give you a hand 

Well my father freaked out and I rolled on the floor laughing

Sent from my portable office....yes I am at work


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## revenge (Jun 30, 2011)

I drilled a hole way in the back of van attached one inch blaok hose and funnel tthats for pissssssin as for deuces every mornin at600


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## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

Lmp said:


> I got the best one! Me and my helper was doing a renovation in an apartment that had 2 bathrooms. One wasnt started until we finished the other one because the owner was still living there and also there was a bathroom in the basement of the building. So one day my helper had to take a dump I told him to go to the basement but he refused to he asked me to keep watch as he was doing his thing cause the door didn't lock I told go for it. Next thing I know the maid came to the room and asked me if there was anybody was in the bathroom and me being the ass that I am said no!!! All I can remember is the screams from both of them and her running holding her nose!!! For the next week I couldn't stop laughing at him!! But he learned his lesson never use the customers bathroom!!!!


 





Ha ha ha.....next time make a video........:laughing:


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## hroark2112 (Apr 16, 2011)

I was at a jobsite meeting one day and we all see everyone pointing & laughing. One of the HVAC guys had driven by the portapotty and turned too sharp, the pipes on top of the pickup knocked the portapotty over on the door. The guy inside couldn't get out and was COVERED in mess.


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## damnplumber (Jan 22, 2012)

I time my deuce at 0600 and thanks for the used cup of coffee looking for a tool trick that's American!


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## Adamche (Feb 10, 2012)

Many years ago, I was still an apprentice doing new domestic works. one of the other apprentices went into the site dunny, which consisted of a corrugated iron shack 3'x3' 6'6'', a swing door, a can roughly 18'' dia and 18'' tall with a wooden seat. middle of Aussie summer- dunny stinks. Tradesman decides to rope up the door and proceeds to push the shack over and down a small hill..... wailing, banging, swearing .... apprentice escapes he has turned a differnt color.... needless to say I never ever used the site facilities while i was with this company.


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## Mississippiplum (Sep 30, 2011)

Back a while ago I was on my way home and shoit myself, I had to pull over run into the woods and remove the soiled boxer shorts in question. not a very fun experience. 

I have a rule- I always Carry a role of TP in my truck, always!! Cause ya never know when ull need it!!

sent from the jobsite porta-potty


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## mccmech (Jul 6, 2011)

Standard issue is not only t/p but a spare pair of drawers. The old boyscout motto: "Be prepared". The added bonus of keeping a pee jug in yer truck is that when dealing with azz-bag drivers during the day it gives you a little "Sprinkling for the hedgerow". Sorry about the Zep reference.


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## DesertOkie (Jul 15, 2011)

revenge said:


> I drilled a hole way in the back of van attached one inch blaok hose and funnel tthats for pissssssin as for deuces every mornin at600


Just make sure the hose does not stop over the exhaust. I worked with a guy who piped his "urinal" onto the muffler. It smelled like someone pissing on a fire every time he pulled up.


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## justin (May 14, 2010)

extra drawers are not necessary if you roll with a manpon.


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## 422 plumber (Jul 31, 2008)

mccmech said:


> Standard issue is not only t/p but a spare pair of drawers. The old boyscout motto: "Be prepared". The added bonus of keeping a pee jug in yer truck is that when dealing with azz-bag drivers during the day it gives you a little "Sprinkling for the hedgerow". Sorry about the Zep reference.


I am not alarmed, but I thought that lyric was "just a spring clean in your hedgerow." It never made sense, but then again, most Zep lyrics don't.


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## ChrisConnor (Dec 31, 2009)

Bucket and a trash bag in the back of the box truck, glad there are lights back there. I have had to do that in the back of a cargo van, too.

I had a customer give me some sort of juice drink one time that upset my stomach. I had to make a pit stop about two blocks from his house. It's kind of hard to "look casual" when you're pulling over to climb in the back of your truck and close the door.

It surprises me how often we get in situations where there is no available bathroom. That's what you get when you eat on the go.


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## justin (May 14, 2010)

ChrisConnor said:


> I had a customer give me some sort of juice drink one time that upset my stomach.


Lmao! that is frickin hilarious. i used to feel obligated to take drinks customers offered, until i found myself coughing and spraying piss in my huggies. but i do not drink when offered anymore.


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## ChrisConnor (Dec 31, 2009)

I later found out it was orange juice concentrate and Hawaiian Punch.


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## TX MECH PLUMBER (May 27, 2011)

Wow. I pitty y'all service guys!! I just stand by the truck and let it rip. If people are near I piss in-between the bed and cab !!! I pretend to look in the tool box !! Only jug I piss in is in the deer blind!!


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## seanny deep (Jan 28, 2012)

I was working for a guy and had gotten a ride up the mountain with him a road from hell wasnt going to beat my truck up not to mention tons of snow. Anyways long story short i had to sheit so i sent him back to my truck to grab something ran outside dropped my overalls and kicked a deep hole in the frozen snow and went to my bussisness wiped with a sock and buried it back up hours later i was done the job so we jumped in his landcruiser. As his dog jumped in the overpowering smell of shiet filled his truck... I new instantly my face turned brite red as he tried to wipe the crap from his long haired purebread prized dog. The guy was swearing and shaking his head he kept muttering god dam bears if i see that bear. I didnt have the heart to tell him as we was new to canada from europe. The sad part is it was right after christmas and the bears were all hybernating. Blush blush


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## Cotton06 (Jul 9, 2011)

seanny deep said:


> I was working for a guy and had gotten a ride up the mountain with him a road from hell wasnt going to beat my truck up not to mention tons of snow. Anyways long story short i had to sheit so i sent him back to my truck to grab something ran outside dropped my overalls and kicked a deep hole in the frozen snow and went to my bussisness wiped with a sock and buried it back up hours later i was done the job so we jumped in his landcruiser. As his dog jumped in the overpowering smell of shiet filled his truck... I new instantly my face turned brite red as he tried to wipe the crap from his long haired purebread prized dog. The guy was swearing and shaking his head he kept muttering god dam bears if i see that bear. I didnt have the heart to tell him as we was new to canada from europe. The sad part is it was right after christmas and the bears were all hybernating. Blush blush


Now thats funny shiot!!!!


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## azmike (Feb 3, 2010)

At 54 I never trust a fart anymore! It really sucks when I'm on job and start prarie dogging thats when you know you have exactly no time left to contemplate your next move. I always say to the customer I need to get rid of some coffee, they understand!


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## Evelse (Feb 2, 2012)

azmike said:


> At 54 I never trust a fart anymore! It really sucks when I'm on job and start prarie dogging thats when you know you have exactly no time left to contemplate your next move. I always say to the customer I need to get rid of some coffee, they understand!


Thank you! I'm not the only one who doesn't see the problem with using a customer's toilet lol. I am just absolutely stunned by this thread. I have part time help sometimes and I would never dream of not letting them use the bathroom or eat lunch if they were hungry. Back when I worked for someone we were on a new construction job with no ports crapper. He told me to go in the woods and crap. I said no I'm not a dog. I took the van and went to the nearest convenience store with a bathroom. And it was on the clock too. I draw the line on smoking. No smoking in my trick especially since it's new and no smoking around the customer


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## Plumbersteve (Jan 25, 2011)

Ok...so I was 23 in 2006. It was the 4th of july, 18 days before my wedding day. I had been out riding the jetski all day, shaking things up inside me. Well, that night I started to feel some weird cramps. The next morning, I was in the shop getting some material ready when I felt that cramp and I thought I was gonna go into the bathroom and crap. Once I got in there and dropped trow, I thought I was gonna die. I ended up on the floor in the fetal position from the pain. Went to the emergency room and found out it was a kidney stone. I had knocked it loose jetskiing. So for the next two weeks, I had to drink tons of water and every time I had to go, I had to use a funnel with a little screen, in case anything came out. I must've peed in the truck 15 times a day cause I was too embarrassed to carry that funnel around with me. I ended up passing the stone on tuesday, got married on saturday and was in the bahamas on monday.:thumbup::thumbup:


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## Hillside (Jan 22, 2010)

Check these out http://www.briefrelief.com/
My buddy that works for the gas co turned me onto them, they have a powdee in them and jell up when you use them and have a ziplock type seal, haven't spilled on myself yet, also they work for chicks, love it when my chick has to pee on a road trip and I hand her one of these instead of pulling over, or a wide mouth gatorade bottle works well too, as for the número 2 
Home depot bucket and a bag, we call it hot bagging it in these parts of town hahahahahaha


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## Plantificus (Sep 17, 2009)

I use an old Rootx container


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## ibeplumber (Sep 20, 2011)

Plantificus said:


> I use an old Rootx container


Don't get that stuff on your hands, or your UNIT!!!!!!!!for that matter.


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## Plantificus (Sep 17, 2009)

ibeplumber said:


> Don't get that stuff on your hands, or your UNIT!!!!!!!!for that matter.


HAHA that's for sure


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

You could just "Go Astronaut..." :laughing:


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## Spyke (Feb 18, 2012)

And here I thought that I might be some sort of freak out peeing in a Gatorade bottle in the back of my truck while pretending to look for parts. Glad to see that I am not alone.

I watched an excavator man throw some orange cones on the road around a manhole and yank the lid off. He then headed done in with a roll of toilet paper! I would never attempt that. By the time I strained getting the lid off it would be time to just head on home and change my fruit o looms!


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## MikeS (Oct 3, 2011)

I pee ALOT. I never use customer toilet. Unless I can't hold it anymore, and I always ask if it is ok. NEVER ever go number 2 in a customers home. But I pee in bottles in back of the truck when I have to. I call it my "private bathroom".


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## TMTFrenchie (Jun 11, 2012)

5Gal bucket lmao:thumbup:


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## pilot light (Apr 21, 2012)

I have heard you rent it!:laughing:


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## deerslayer (Mar 29, 2012)

I heard a story of one of our guys dropping a deuce at a customers and the toilet plugged on him LMAO! She wasn't home so he grabbed his closet auger and while augering she walks in and asks how he is fixing the hosebib from there! He explains how it's preventative and plans to do all the toilets! From that day forward whenever we went to that house we closet augered all toilets.


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## deerslayer (Mar 29, 2012)

I feel the same way about using a customers bathroom for #2 that I do a porta-potty and I won't use either unless it's life or death! It has been a few times over the years!


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## Airgap (Dec 18, 2008)

deerslayer said:


> I heard a story of one of our guys dropping a deuce at a customers and the toilet plugged on him LMAO! She wasn't home so he grabbed his closet auger and while augering she walks in and asks how he is fixing the hosebib from there! He explains how it's preventative and plans to do all the toilets! From that day forward whenever we went to that house we closet augered all toilets.


That's pretty funny....


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## daniel47 (Jun 12, 2012)

:thumbup:


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## PinkPlumber (May 20, 2012)

DUNBAR PLUMBING said:


> Your kidneys are talking to you.
> 
> 
> Kidney animation in english.mp4 - YouTube
> ...



Would make for an interesting unemployment claim...refusing bathroom breaks....eating on the run would possibly fly, but the human functions issues would not. I give folks time to have an uninterrupted lunch....rather than have them crash a vehicle trying to eat and drive or rush...it's just civilized. The 30 minutes they can rest and eat makes the rest of their day go easier, their attitude stay more positive, and less mistakes or "f*ck it" type workmanship. Treating them with a bit of decorum and respect goes a long way towards protecting your reputation. It also gives them time for a clothes change if they need to stay tidy looking for afternoon customers. That 30 minutes is therefore, a tiny investment.

They are making money for you, best to take care of them like a fine tool.....abuse them and they go away.


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## 89plumbum (May 14, 2011)

I was on a remod once and removed the wc's. It hit me out of no where. Nearest store to far.
Went outside grabbed toilet still on dolly and rolled it back in.

Other trades are lookin at me like, didn't he just take that thing outside?

Thow it on flange and quickly tightened supply. Clinching hard all the while!

As I whipe the sweat off my forehead it hits me.

NO TOILET PAPER!!!


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## daniel47 (Jun 12, 2012)

Hello. good .i need your help.can you


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## 89plumbum (May 14, 2011)

daniel47 said:


> Hello. good .i need your help.can you


???


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## PinkPlumber (May 20, 2012)

daniel47 said:


> Hello. good .i need your help.can you



What? Need a check cashed?:blink:


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## gear junkie (Jun 20, 2008)

So I'm on the 101 in LA, parking lot, anyway I gotta go bad. I had a gaorade bottle with me, chug it down, and use the bottle for number 1. Totally forgot about it. The wif calls me up 2 weeks later..."don't say anything except yes or no. did you pee in a bottle in my car?" The funny part was she said she was going to drink it until it struck her that gatorade doesn't make apple juice.


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## johnlewismcleod (Apr 6, 2012)

gear junkie said:


> So I'm on the 101 in LA, parking lot, anyway I gotta go bad. I had a gaorade bottle with me, chug it down, and use the bottle for number 1. Totally forgot about it. The wif calls me up 2 weeks later..."don't say anything except yes or no. did you pee in a bottle in my car?" The funny part was she said she was going to drink it until it struck her that gatorade doesn't make apple juice.



...sounds like you narrowly avoided a trip to divorce court there, Gear


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## JK949 (Mar 18, 2009)

89plumbum said:


> I was on a remod once and removed the wc's. It hit me out of no where. Nearest store to far.
> Went outside grabbed toilet still on dolly and rolled it back in.
> 
> Other trades are lookin at me like, didn't he just take that thing outside?
> ...


You wear socks don't you


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## gitnerdun (Nov 5, 2008)

daniel47 said:


> Hello. good .i need your help.can you


I think this is half of the phone conversation one would make while perched on the throne hoping to find paper.


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## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

Plumbersteve said:


> Ok...so I was 23 in 2006. It was the 4th of july, 18 days before my wedding day. I had been out riding the jetski all day, shaking things up inside me. Well, that night I started to feel some weird cramps. The next morning, I was in the shop getting some material ready when I felt that cramp and I thought I was gonna go into the bathroom and crap. Once I got in there and dropped trow, I thought I was gonna die. I ended up on the floor in the fetal position from the pain. Went to the emergency room and found out it was a kidney stone. I had knocked it loose jetskiing. So for the next two weeks, I had to drink tons of water and every time I had to go, I had to use a funnel with a little screen, in case anything came out. I must've peed in the truck 15 times a day cause I was too embarrassed to carry that funnel around with me. I ended up passing the stone on tuesday, got married on saturday and was in the bahamas on monday.:thumbup::thumbup:


 






I had a kidney stone. I know exactly what pain you were going through. Kidney stones are no joke....:no:


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