# $#it my Dad says...



## Qball415 (Nov 20, 2010)

What are the phrases your pops(master plumber,grandfateher,etc..) said....
1)If you cant do it right dont do it at all! 2)A true craftsman does a good job wether he has to, wants to or needs to.


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

Just make it happen. No excuses.


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## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

My mentor used to say, "Who hired THIS guy?" :laughing:


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## Qball415 (Nov 20, 2010)

Tommy plumber said:


> My mentor used to say, "Who hired THIS guy?" :laughing:


 My master plumber would....Stick his hand in his pocket when i would mess up, grab his keys and say sit in the truck and dont touch the damb radio.:laughing: Those were the days!


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

"anyone can do it with light"
"anyone can do it with fittings"
"anyone can do it with help"


Ah the good old days lol....


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

Don't get married


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## Tommy plumber (Feb 19, 2010)

Another phrase I used to hear whenever I would complain was, "If it was easy, they'd have women and children doin it."

A variation of that is: "If it were easy, they'd have a service plumber doing it."......:laughing:


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

Dont bite your fingernails.


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## user2090 (Sep 26, 2009)

The mentor I had through my apprentice was found of these gems.

"You guys and your code."

"There is code, and then there is common sense."

"It always seems like the more you know the less you know."

There were many more. Another plumber and I called them Billizms. :laughing:


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

Once i gave a measurment to an 1/8 of an inch. This is what i got:
a blank stare and "There is no 1/8's in plumbing". Lol


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## TX MECH PLUMBER (May 27, 2011)

My master said

You got to want it

Just wompy jaw it in ther

I'm Gona run your ass off stupid

Iv forgot more about plumbing then you'll ever learn

And the all time fav 
Why you stupid little shiot I'm Gona kill you

Keep in mind he is 73 yrs old and still workin.


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## PrecisePlumbing (Jan 31, 2011)

I was plumbing in baghdad while you were still in your dads bag


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

"ive already forgotten more then you will ever know" lol


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## TX MECH PLUMBER (May 27, 2011)

NYC Plumber said:


> "ive already forgotten more then you will ever know" lol


At least it's not just me that got that one. Funny thing when I got my license it all stopped. I guess we are peers now lol


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

NYC Plumber said:


> Once i gave a measurment to an 1/8 of an inch. This is what i got:
> a blank stare and "There is no 1/8's in plumbing". Lol


When I worked with a plumber as a helper, we were running galv and he wanted the piece cut 13 15/16". I say so you want it 14". He said no, it must be 13 15/16". :laughing:


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

house plumber said:


> When I worked with a plumber as a helper, we were running galv and he wanted the piece cut 13 15/16". I say so you want it 14". He said no, it must be 13 15/16". :laughing:


Lol did he check when you handed him the pipe?


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## skitian (Apr 5, 2011)

"if you fall, you're fired before you hit the floor"


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## futz (Sep 17, 2009)

NYC Plumber said:


> Once i gave a measurment to an 1/8 of an inch. This is what i got:
> a blank stare and "There is no 1/8's in plumbing". Lol


Another common reply to fine measurement requests, "What? Ya buildin a f**kin piano?"


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## Qball415 (Nov 20, 2010)

A helper of mine used to say(in spanish) If you cant do it i will bring "monkeys"!:laughing:


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## TX MECH PLUMBER (May 27, 2011)

futz said:


> Another common reply to fine measurement requests, "What? Ya buildin a f**kin piano?"


I got 
We arnt building a dam pyramid


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

NYC Plumber said:


> Lol did he check when you handed him the pipe?


Yeah, it was 14"


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## DesertOkie (Jul 15, 2011)

priming a pipe "You ain't f-ing painting it"
At Roto "Well your two weeks training is up welcome to the weekends, if you have any problems call me and I'll walk you through it"


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## Bayside500 (May 16, 2009)

house plumber said:


> When I worked with a plumber as a helper, we were running galv and he wanted the piece cut 13 15/16". I say so you want it 14". He said no, it must be 13 15/16". :laughing:


i wonder who that idiot was :whistling2:


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## luv2plumb (Apr 30, 2010)

Time is money....stop wasting mine


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## luv2plumb (Apr 30, 2010)

DesertOkie said:


> priming a pipe *"You ain't f-ing painting it"*
> At Roto "Well your two weeks training is up welcome to the weekends, if you have any problems call me and I'll walk you through it"


I always heard "hurry up Picaso"


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## Optimus Primer (May 20, 2009)

Bayside500 said:


> i wonder who that idiot was :whistling2:


sorry, i dont like throwing people under the bus.


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## Bayside500 (May 16, 2009)

house plumber said:


> sorry, i dont like throwing people under the bus.


neither do i


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

"What, are you still here"?

Usually followed by a directive to go get him something since I was still on the clock.

That's one of his tamer broadsides,

I hated that ******* with a passion. Still do.


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## Master Mark (Aug 14, 2009)

*nut up or shut up......*

in the heat today, when everyone working for me
was whineing and complaining about how hot it was... 
I told them that my mantra for the day was .......
......... either nut up or shut up.........:yes::yes:.


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## pauliplumber (Feb 9, 2009)

The more ya think, the more ya make.


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

skitian said:


> "if you fall, you're fired before you hit the floor"


I had an employer that told me that all the time!

The other one was Were not building Swiss watches...

And my fave...

"Son, I've got more dragging than you've got hanging..."

And I am positive that many of you will use that last one tomorrow...

:laughing:


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## SewerRatz (Apr 25, 2009)

"We are not building a brick sh!t house"

"You're a$$ is sucking buttermilk"

"Do not be a sissy, it washes off"


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## retired rooter (Dec 31, 2008)

Im gonna trade you in for a 1 armed xx&&%%$ sometimes our alabama slang cant be said on here (lol)


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## Airgap (Dec 18, 2008)

"It aint that hard to get...it's not like chinese arithmetic..."


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

When caught slowing down or standing around etc...

Son, you should be busier than a 1 legged man in an azz kicking contest!


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## gear junkie (Jun 20, 2008)

Try doing something useful in life.


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## retired rooter (Dec 31, 2008)

U666A said:


> When caught slowing down or standing around etc...
> 
> Son, you should be busier than a 1 legged man in an azz kicking contest!


 Capt Phil Cornelia Marie deadliest catch


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## SewerRat (Feb 26, 2011)

My dad always said, "Quality not quantity."


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## JK949 (Mar 18, 2009)

Tommy plumber said:


> Another phrase I used to hear whenever I would complain was, "If it was easy, they'd have women and children doin it."
> 
> A variation of that is: "If it were easy, they'd have a service plumber doing it."......:laughing:


Running pipe is easy when you don't have to turn the house into a clean room before you cut out the drywall.


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## marc76075 (Nov 24, 2010)

If it doesn't fit, force it.
If it breaks, it needed to get replaced anyway.


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## Hillside (Jan 22, 2010)

never walk back to the van empty handed
don't lay the tools on the ground ( as he got older the ground got lower )
you people have a big problem
get your hands out of your pockets
don't call me dad call me by my 1st name
what the hell are u doing under there still, sleeping?
get me a beer if your grabbing lunch somewhere

i could go on for days


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

retired rooter said:


> Capt Phil Cornelia Marie deadliest catch


Dad said it long before that show came to town...


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## 1703 (Jul 21, 2009)

Hit it with your purse, Nancy.


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## smoldrn (Oct 4, 2010)

I used to tell the new guys with the confused look on their face "we're just putting together pipes,not building the space shuttle"


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## easttexasplumb (Oct 13, 2010)

"If it was easy women and children would do it."


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## Qball415 (Nov 20, 2010)

That pipe is as crooked as a dogs hind leg.:laughing:


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

"i wouldn't put my name on it"


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## greenscoutII (Aug 27, 2008)

Colgar said:


> Hit it with your purse, Nancy.


You worked for Doug too?:laughing:


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## greenscoutII (Aug 27, 2008)

When working in the rain/gushing water: Trust me, you ain't made out of sugar. You're not gonna melt.

In reference to pricing a job: You can shear a sheep as many times as you want, but you can only skin him once....

My personal favorite on the first day working on base crew: Come here. I need to introduce you to Jack and Jenny... Who's Jack and Jenny?

Your new work mates. Jack Hammer and Jenny Rator.........


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## goob (Dec 29, 2008)

that looks like socks on a rooster


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## bluewater (Jul 14, 2011)

**** or get off.the pot 
Make it happen 
If there is.a will there is.a way 
Can't never could 
And its not I have to do something its I get to do it


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## bartnc37 (Feb 24, 2009)

Did your parents have any children that lived?

You're the dumbest smart kid I've ever met

Take up drinking, at least then there would be a reason for how bad this looks


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## Everflow (Feb 1, 2010)

You wouldn't make a pimple on a dead plumbers a$$.

You should have never gotten married your wife took your brain and replaced it with a box of rocks.

What are the first 5 letters of plumbing.

Is that a vent or a flag pole.

I'm about ready to replace you with 3 dead indians and a cigar.

Man..... I miss my DAD enjoy them while you have them around.


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## hroark2112 (Apr 16, 2011)

Back when I was an electrician on submarines, the old Navy Chief used to tell me (usually after I had fixed something at 1AM with no one looking) "There are 2 kinds of electricians. Old electricians and bold electricians. There are no old, bold electricians."


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## ckoch407 (Sep 30, 2009)

Life is like a **** sandwich..... The more bread you have, the less **** you have to eat.


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## Plumberman (Jul 7, 2008)

"If I have to do it all myself then there is no reason to have you around"

"Hit it like you live!"

"I'm in the top three of best plumbers in town, the other two have retired"


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## jc60618 (Jan 24, 2010)

"Good enough for my house"


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## NYC Plumber (May 4, 2011)

jc60618 said:


> "Good enough for my house"


I got "aint my ****in house" lol


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

My Poppa was fond of saying "keep your arse behind your work".

Never really knew what that meant until I learned he was legally blind for the last 20 years of his life. He did a really good job of hiding that from us, btw.


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## plbgbiz (Aug 27, 2010)

After a finished job..._*"Good enough for the girls I go with, and they deserve the best".*_

*"If you would fill up the back half of that shovel, the front end will take care of itself."*

_*"Do they sell men's clothes where you buy your underwear?"*_ - Stolen from a Kevin Bacon movie I think.

_*"Tighten it all you can then go another half round."*_

Whenever I was fumbling trying to start a fitting, _*Get it straight and turn it to the right."*_


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## Titletownplumbr (Feb 16, 2011)

"Son, I'm not necessarily smarter than you are, I've just been where you're going".


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## dayexco (Oct 12, 2009)

you could fvck up a wet dream in a whore house.


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

dayexco said:


> you could fvck up a wet dream in a whore house.


 Ouch.:laughing:


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## Redwood (Sep 8, 2008)

To the apprentice that had lost an eye in a car accident....

"This time use your good eye...." :laughing:


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## 3KP (Jun 19, 2008)

Come On Poe-pee Slow hurry up! (slow poke is what he ment)

Hey Fesso! (Fesso is Pu_$y in iltalian)

Hey PARTNER! Rock-n-Roll

Why are your letters not going in the same direction on your pipes? ( he like the lettering pointed down and going the same direction)


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## Hillside (Jan 22, 2010)

" i can't see it from my house! " :laughing:


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## Maximumplumbing (Nov 6, 2010)

give me that big, tall, fat, short, skinny piece!


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## 3KP (Jun 19, 2008)

You hold the tail I'm F_cking this cat!

I would rather Ja_k Of_ with a hand full of rusty worm gut filled fish hooks than do that.:no:


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

Keep the vulgarity to a min. please.


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## 3KP (Jun 19, 2008)

I'm just quoting what he said and I tried to leave out some letters.. What else should of I done Slickrick?? $%&& would some think like that of been better but could you figure out what $%&& is Just asking?


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## plbgbiz (Aug 27, 2010)

I'm thinking it wasn't just directed to you alone 3K. Heck, even the beginning of the thread topic is a four letter word. When sharing the sayings passed down from the crusty old timers, it might be difficult keeping everything at a G rating.


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## futz (Sep 17, 2009)

SlickRick said:


> Keep the vulgarity to a min. please.


Heh :laughing::laughing: I used to work with a guy who liked to say (when there were complaints about his swearing on the job), "This is a job-site, not a f***in nursery school!"

I think that 99+% of pro plumbers have said it or heard it before and can live with a little vulgarity. We handle sh*t for a living, for pete's sake. There's no need to protect our delicate shell-like ears. :laughing: For those (religious, or not) namby pambies who wouldn't say "sh*t" if their mouth was full of it, how on earth did you survive in this trade for this long? Vulgarity and the plumbing biz kinda go together, I think.


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## SlickRick (Sep 3, 2009)

futz said:


> Heh :laughing::laughing: I used to work with a guy who liked to say (when there were complaints about his swearing on the job), "This is a job-site, not a f***in nursery school!"
> 
> I think that 99+% of pro plumbers have said it or heard it before and can live with a little vulgarity. We handle sh*t for a living, for pete's sake. There's no need to protect our delicate shell-like ears. :laughing:


This is a family friendly site at the owners request, and is viewed by the general public as well as hard core plumbers.


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## Plumb Bob (Mar 9, 2011)

My master plumber Mentor used to always say 

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"

I beleive he was quoting Benjamin Franklin


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

"a job well planned is a job half done..."

"if you've failed to plan, you've planned to fail..."

"a lack of planning on your part constitutes not an emergency on my part..."

Etc... Etc...


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## suzie (Sep 1, 2010)

Hey hurry up before the post office gives you a zip code..that came from a newly turned out local 130 plumber who became foreman:yes: he was the bestest a legend in his own mind:laughing:


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## RealLivePlumber (Jun 22, 2008)

U666A said:


> "a job well planned is a job half done..."
> 
> "if you've failed to plan, you've planned to fail..."
> 
> ...




Adventure is the result of bad planning.


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

"do you have any idea who I think I am?!?"


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## gitnerdun (Nov 5, 2008)

"spin & grin" 

that's cattywompus!

Are you gitnerdun now!?

cut me a dutchy!

it ain't a piano!

Take this hammer and smack that trap right on the bottom

roof tiles are supposed to break


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## OldPlumber (Aug 4, 2008)

"Look at it as your families bread and butter". He told one customer .. "don't tell me your ?!&# is none of my business .. it's my bread and butter". He really liked the bread and butter deal .. he had several variations on that one.

"Hey Picasso .. don't stand there lookin at it all day .. grab some pipe and get to it" !

"Hey Susie, you figure that's tight" ? "Ya gotta get ur ass into it .. oh ya .. you ain't got one yet ... HAhahahahahahahaha" ! He really cracked himself up ! Great guy ! I learned a ton from that Man !


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## Plumbus (Aug 4, 2008)

futz said:


> Another common reply to fine measurement requests, "What? Ya buildin a f**kin piano?"


That was my pop's favorite expression whenever I took too long doing anything.


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## luv2plumb (Apr 30, 2010)

"turn it the other way, Lefty"


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

luv2plumb said:


> "turn it the other way, Lefty"


"hire the left handed, they're fun to watch... Kinda like retards..." my dad wasn't exactly PC, and I am, in fact, a south paw... Think threes more than a few of us here...

Myself
Wid
LI
L2P?


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## plbgbiz (Aug 27, 2010)

EVERYONE is left handed though some of you stubbornly refuse to admit it.


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## U666A (Dec 11, 2010)

It's like watching a dog hump a football, the outcome is going to be sticky but it's entertaining in the meantime...


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## plbgbiz (Aug 27, 2010)

Even my logo is left handed. :laughing:


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## luv2plumb (Apr 30, 2010)

U666A said:


> "hire the left handed, they're fun to watch... Kinda like retards..." my dad wasn't exactly PC, and I am, in fact, a south paw... Think threes more than a few of us here...
> 
> Myself
> Wid
> ...


no south paw here....just a southern *******....it was a saying an old master would say when someone was turning the pipe the wrong way to tighten


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## mtfallsmikey (Jan 11, 2010)

Dad: Get with it, you're burnin' daylight.


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## Qball415 (Nov 20, 2010)

All these sayings is what we remember the most as we are learning the theory of plumbing from our mentors, our goal should be to pass it to the next generation eager plumbers.


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## DesertOkie (Jul 15, 2011)

Here is one I got today from my Boss. "If your so F-ing smart you can buy the company from me and I'll work for you. But I tell you if you treat me like I treat you I'll quit."


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## plbgbiz (Aug 27, 2010)

Fix it or tear it up cause it sure ain't gonna work like it is now.


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## RealLivePlumber (Jun 22, 2008)

Fixd the $hit out of another one.


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## RW Plumbing (Aug 16, 2010)

There's no points for pretty on this one. Now hurry up and get it done.


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## Widdershins (Feb 5, 2011)

If I wanted any ****e out of you I'd crack your skull open and dip for it.


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## 1703 (Jul 21, 2009)

Who cares if it leaks. Worms gotta eat, too.


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